I know that time is always moving. People, things, places, are forever changing. But recently I've felt an ache in my heart for the way things are moving. There's a sense of success or adulthood that I feel I need to be achieving recently. There's friends buying homes, getting promoted, finding passions, having babies. And I can't stop thinking about the change.
I was never taught that my physical self was beautiful. I often heard –"That shirt is cut too low." "That skirt is too short." "Those jeans are too tight." and on and on. Growing up the first years of my life in a family that was independent fundamental baptist, followed by strict christianity, there was always a sentiment of "your body is a temple". But it only seemed applicable to what I could not do - don't have sex before marriage, don't cause others to lust, don't get tattoos...I could go on. My body was not something to be celebrated.
One of my favorite parts about summertime is grilling. I will gladly take any excuse to not turn on the oven in our house that lacks air conditioning. (Not to mention how incredibly fast this meal is to make!) Taylor and Katie have come over a couple of times and made this tzatziki, grilled chicken & pita, veggie salad meal. It's now one of my favorite meals of all time. Check out the recipe below.
When I was young, I always imagined that adulthood would be a string of grand adventures and deep, deep emotions. As I've grown older, I've realized that that is not always true. Life fluctuates, and when those deep emotions do happen, I should hold onto them with fierce attentiveness and presence. Our annual camping trip is always one of those times for me.
I met Taylor in 2009, I was 14, teeth full of braces, sopping wet hair in our friend Steph's kitchen when we first met. That night Taylor shared a story from his childhood, and as I sat and listened to him share, choking through tears, I realized I had never known such vulnerability and honesty. Those are the words that I would use to describe Taylor- honest, and unafraid of vulnerability. Through the years he has fought for me in the ugliest situations, has cried with me through the hardest moments of my life, and has given me more laughter and joy than many people I know. Somehow, no matter how dumb, we always laugh at the same jokes.
Nights become restless in the heat of the just beginning summer. It's only June and the weeks have been filled with 90+ degree days and we cannot find rest. Ian tosses and turns next to me and I can't stand it, so I'm up and reading a book. I text an old friend and don't get a reply and start to wonder what I'm holding onto. I get caught up in my head and my eyes are just dancing across the pages but I'm not reading anymore.
After around 3 days of 90+ degree weather, I'm craving the early spring days of sweaters and light breeze. A few months back, my sweet friend Charlie, Ian and I went for a short hike around Red Rocks and took some portraits.
I'm standing on the shore of an island off of Spain with 6 of my most loved friends. The rainclouds overhead create a dark shadow over us, and the ocean spray mists my face. I am here. Sand between my toes, face tilted toward the sky, I really am here. I look over to the rocks and the guys are all stripping naked and running into the water. They crash against the ocean, laughing, flailing, screaming. I'm smiling as I put my camera toward my face and start snapping. I haven't felt this present in a long time. "Get in here!!" the guys scream at us girls on the shore.
Back in November, two of our very best friends moved to Berlin. At the beginning of this year, Ian, our friends Sean and Monique and I all sat down and bought tickets to go visit them. Right before our trip, the 6 of us bought tickets to head over to Spain to visit our friend Simeon, and then the 7 of us headed down for a day in Porto. Two whole weeks with some of our favorite people in the world, seeing the cities they've been living in.