Summer Is Here
Nights become restless in the heat of the just beginning summer. It's only June and the weeks have been filled with 90+ degree days and we cannot find rest. Ian tosses and turns next to me and I can't stand it, so I'm up and reading a book. I text an old friend and don't get a reply and start to wonder what I'm holding onto. I get caught up in my head and my eyes are just dancing across the pages but I'm not reading anymore.
I crawl in bed with Ian and I want to be held, I want to be close but our skin is sticky and my insides feel like they're overheating so we both just lay on our back and stare at the ceiling begging our bodies to cool down. I start dreaming about the time we shaved our heads, and how much cooler the summer would be without hair. "Let's sleep in the basement," Ian says, and I realized that I had never considered that option before. We grabbed our blankets and walk downstairs and I sleep soundly in the cool room, but Ian tosses and turns.
Summer is here. The house is filled with laughter as we drink too many home-made margaritas. My clothes are sweaty from all the days sitting out on the hot concrete and smoking those american spirit yellows. Yesterday we got a moment of sweet relief - five minutes of down-pouring rain and we sat in it together and laughed and jumped at cold drops and sipped our beers. I started running again, but it's too damn hot (at least that's what I tell myself on those 6am mornings when it feels impossible to get up).
This season always feels like growing pains. When your bones feel too big for your body and your muscles ache with the strain and all you can do is rest and wait. Summer comes in full force and stops us all in our tracks and we're aching and we're happy and we're confused with all the change. But it gets easier. We make ice cold margaritas, and buy kiddie pools, and share fondue, and eat so much tzatziki, and jump in rivers. Summer is achy but Summer is beautiful and I can't wait for fall, but I can't wait to see the changes.